It’s safe to say that 2016 was an absolute joke. (Besides getting engaged to the love of my life, of course. Hi, Ryan!) In my world, there was knee surgery, a pretty crazy car accident and a host of other small, yet moderately annoying happenings that made 2016 a minus five.
But I’m not one to harp on the past, so this one’s about that “new year, new me” BS that most people are spewing right about now. Sure, it’s admirable to set your sights on something you’re lacking or want to achieve each new year. It’s just how you get there that makes all the difference.
Anyways, for what it’s worth (take it, or don’t) here’s my take on New Year’s resolutions, and how you could probably reach them…
Rule 1: Be realistic AF!
Don’t be extreme. You’ll only be making things difficult and setting yourself up for disappointment. For instance, I’d love to say I’m going to give up all delicious things that are bad for me. But I know there are only two chances of that happening… 1) slim 2) fuck all. (I buckled in the first week of 2017 and made the epic Milo, Milky Bar and Oreo Cheesecake that became the subject of this post!) What I have decided, though, is that I will do my best to eat less of the sweet stuff. That’s waaaay more realistic anyhow.
But back to that cheesecake (insert heart eye emoji here…)
Rule 2: You don’t have to tell everyone on social media
WHAT? Seriously? YES, seriously. If your goal was to become a fully certified smoke show, then power to ya sister (or brother. Hey, guys have resolutions too). You don’t have to post a series of shallow and somewhat questionable half-naked selfies to convince us. We believe you. Plus, you water down the hard work it actually took to get there. We might actually appreciate an honest account of what it took to get there, though… Just a thought.
Rule 3: Be ambitious, not thirsty
If you’re exceptionally suburban and have no idea what I mean by thirsty, it has nothing to do with hydration. Put the Valpre down, Susan. Thirsty = DESPERATE. By all means, have a dream or a goal but please be prepared to walk through the Sahara on your way there and fight off the thirst.
Rule 4: Set new resolutions as the year goes on
Sometimes resolutions evolve into different animals as the year goes on. Case and point: resolution – find a boyfriend. Evolution – find a boyfriend who is not an absolute muppet. See? It’s not always a cut and dried thing with resolutions, they can change at whim and that’s actually a good thing. God forbid you end up with someone who claps when the plane lands, or worse – someone who starts fights in the comments section of a celebrity’s Instagram…
Rule 5: Have squad goals
This one is self-explanatory. Your network = your net worth. Basically, you are the sum total of those you spend your time with. So for goodness sake, surround yourself with people who hold you to a higher standard than you hold yourself. Deep. Hectic even – but 100% true.
Rule 6: Back yourself
And not in a way that makes you arrogant, either. Just believe in yourself and your abilities. I know that sounds impossibly cheese, but it’s the key to making shit happen. Remember that you will never speak to anyone as much as you speak to yourself. Be kind, always.
Rule 7: Don’t compare your resolutions (or progress) to that of others
This one I’m pretty passionate about. Just. Don’t. Do. It. It’s the fastest route to burnout, heartache, and even disappointment. Your goals are YOUR goals. Go for the things that set your soul on fire. The things you really want, and not the things you think you ought to…
I guess that last one is the crux of this post – making 2017 the year of what you actually want. If you had to ask yourself the honest question, “did I do the things I wanted in 2016” you’d probably say no. Now, I’m not saying be a selfish asshole, lord knows the world doesn’t need any more of those… I’m saying discover what you’re passionate about and go for it. Work hard to make it happen and appreciate the journey. That way, you’ll have fewer regrets and hardly anything to resent. Just a thought.
For me, 2017 is the year of the “no”. Actually, it’s the year of the “FUCK NO!” It’s the time of my life that I plan to put an end to those acquaintances who ask for favours, demand my time and talents for nothing, and expect me to run around them. Believing in abilities and myself means not selling myself short like that – not anymore. And to anyone else who felt unappreciated this year, trust me when I say you should do the same. You’ll still be admired and respected for your work or efforts. Hell, you may even become more in demand for it.
So whether your goal is to get healthy, get real, get motivated or give Beyoncé a proper run for her money… YOU GO GLEN COCO! I believe in you, so let 2017 be the year that you believe in yourself.
Yours in Baking and Bitching (because “xoxo” was too mainstream, and because you’re only one resolution away from a breakthrough…)
Milo, Milky Bar and Oreo Cheesecake
For the base:
1 pack of Oreo cookies (with the icing removed and set aside, so get twisting!)
5 tablespoons of salted butter, melted
For the filling:
2 tubs of cream cheese
1/3 cup of caster sugar
150ml of cream
1/2 cup of milk
1 1/2 cups of Milo powder
3 teaspoons of gelatin
For the ganache topping:
A slab of Milky Bar
Enough cream to make a ganache (around 80-100ml)
- Crush the cookies in a ziplock with a rolling pin (or in a food processor). DON’T throw the icing away!
- Add the butter and mix well. Press into a greased springform tin.
- Leave in the fridge to set for around 15 minutes.
- For the filling: Mix the Milo and a bit of milk together so it makes a slurry. Add the rest of the milk and microwave in intervals, stirring until the Milo is dissolved. Don’t boil it. Leave to cool.
- Dissolve the gelatin in a tablespoon of hot water and add to the Milo mixture.
- In the bowl of a stand mixer, or with a hand mixer, beat the cream cheese, Oreo icing, and icing sugar until soft and fluffy.
- Add the cooled Milo mixture to the cream cheese and mix well. Set aside.
- Whip the cream until medium peaks have formed and gently fold into the cream cheese mixture.
- Place filling on top of the base and leave to set overnight.
- Make the ganache: melt the Milky Bar in the microwave and once melted, add in the cream until a ganache forms. leave it to cool before pouring on top of the cheesecake. Return it to the fridge for an hour.
- Remove the spring form ring, sprinkle with Milo and serve!