Ah, yes. Another blog post accompanied by an apology for my absence. I know… That shit’s getting older and more uncomfortable than Kris Kardashian pimping out her children.

But I’ll have you know that I have my reasons. I’ve been hard at work with my day (and sometimes night) job – copywriting and… there might have been a sneaky trip to Greece. There was also an engagement but I’ll get to that later on. For those of you deep in wonder, the answer was “yes”. (“Yes” to marrying the guy of my dreams and “yes”, I will be making my own wedding cake! I don’t trust enough people with baked goods, anyway…)

But back to Greece…

So, as predicted, our holiday consisted of the two of us eating our way through this Hellenic paradise. Seeing as it was the first time that we’d both visited this spectacular place (it definitely won’t be the last), we figured we owed it to ourselves to eat (and drink) absolutely everything. I reiterate: EVERYTHING.

This week’s post will be a little different because for once, I haven’t baked anything that reminds me of this trip. That’s not to say I won’t, but when I do, you’ll be the first to know! You see, it dawned on me that my reason for not posting as much is that I don’t have as much time to bake something to be the star of each blog entry. It also dawned on me that not every post had to have a recipe if it was still about the same thing that this blog was founded on: DELICIOUS THINGS, PEOPLE. (Whether I make them, or not).

So, do expect more posts about my travels and the crazy tasty things I encounter both away and at home. With this being said, this post is all about the culinary adventure that was our trip to Greece. Sure, there were the beaches (and eating on the beaches), the quaint little white-washed towns (and eating in the towns), the spectacular views from restaurants (where we’d be eating, obvs) and every snack in between.  All in all, this trip was an unforgettable and delicious one.

In a nutshell, here’s a culinary review of our trip to Greece!

• Day one: Go big, or go home!

We’ve all been there – the first day of a long-awaited holiday. You can’t decide what you want to order so you order waaaaaaaay too much. Let’s just say our first meal for two was better suited to a small village. But that’s okay, we made a decent dent in it, anyway. It was here that I fell in love with Greek Salad. No. Not the woollies kind with pre-cut and impossibly dehydrated red onion and cucumber. Soz Woolies, you need a couple lessons… Please see below: FRESH, DELICIOUS GOODNESS. Sadly, once we discovered the other (unhealthy, almost always deep-fried) stuff, it was pushed aside. Forgive me, Greek Salad. I am not worthy.

• Deep-fried Bron.

YOH. You have not lived until you have tried Saganaki. Basically, it’s a hybrid of feta and halloumi (I think) that’s deep-fried and served with a wedge of fresh lemon. Is that all? Yes, that’s all. And believe me, it’s all you need. The below picture makes me emotional. TAKE US BACK! Side note: the corner bits were my fave… Side-side note: this was the primary culprit behind the shunning of the Greek Salad.

• Size matters.

I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say that the portion sizes in Greece are ginormous. You might be thinking, “whatever, I’ll take it on.” Whilst that’s cool and I really do love an optimist, I say, good luck China. Bring your fat pants and at least 9 sachets of Gaviscon with you… Case and point, the first night (refer to the heading of point 1.) Ryan decided that we should order two desserts. Again, we could have fed a family of four. And with us both in a baklava and galaktoboureko-induced coma, we rode (read rolled) back to our hotel. IT WAS WORTH IT.

• The Greek God of street food.

Yup, there is one. The humble Gyro. Picture this won’t you: juicy, caramelised pork (or chicken), fresh tzatziki, thinly sliced red onion, tomato and golden potato fries wrapped in a soft, pillowy, slightly-grilled pita cone. Sounds chilled right? It’s not. It’s a Greek game-changer and after our first Gyro and Corona combo, I think Ryan and I were both ready to pack up our house in Durban and start over in Greece with nothing but a dream and some gyros. Of all the things I miss about that trip, it’s the gyros.

Be still my beating heart…

• Cocktails that cost a kidney.

Y’all know how they say “when in Rome”? Well, when in Greece do try the exotic cocktails, but do be warned that these come at a (hectic) price. I won’t say the old South African, “you’ll pay through your arse” for them. No, no. My friend, you will pay through every orifice in your body. With that being said – when the view is like the one below, who even cares? Side note: the one on the left was the BEST cocktail I have ever had in all my life. Fo reals.

• Not everything has to be Greek!

Forget about the whole “when in Rome” thing mentioned above. Don’t get caught up in only eating local. There are some insane international flavours going on and you owe it to yourself to try them.

Sure, we had our fair share of Greek seafood…

But we also had epic sushi in Paros!

Annnnnnnnd killer pizza and aglio e olio pasta in Mykonos!

Then there was the Italian gelato that was like no other!

Bottom line? Just eat it, already!

• It’s okay to not know what you want.

When there’s SO much variety, it’s a little overwhelming. I mean, I consider myself one of the most decisive people I know. I’m so decisive; I don’t even try on clothes before I buy them. (True story…) But, let it be said that Greece’s food will give you all kinds of feels. So, when it doubt, get two. Well, that was our motto anyway…

So there you have it, a (glutton’s) food guide to Greece. Sure, there was a lot I never mentioned like the olives, bread (good Lord, the bread!) and the cherries almost the size of my palm. No lies. But you’re pretty well versed in the basics. Bottom line, go to Greece, eat and be merry!

You might even find that the food isn’t as fattening as you might think. Maybe it was all the walking, maybe it was because I didn’t care about the extra calories or maybe because I got engaged under a windmill in magical Mykonos? Either way, Greece (and it’s food) is positively glorious!

The sights are great, the beaches are like postcards, the people are friendly (for the most part), and the donkeys are even friendlier! (Trust me, I made sure about the donkeys…)

Yours in Baking, Bitching and gyro fantasies (because “xoxo” was too mainstream and because I dream of those bad boys all day, errrrday).

Okay, last piece of gyro porn, I promise…

Bron