“Expect the unexpected.” Whether it’s getting dumped, receiving speeding fines in the post (ahem, Ryan) or that elusive promotion, it’s always best to remain poised for the unpredictable. This is not only because it helps you save face when something does happen, it’s also because (NEWSFLASH) there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it…
Such is life. It brings us the best of times (when Clicks Clubcard points get loaded onto your card. WINNING!) and the worst of times (When your brand new blush-coloured YDE blouse turns one of the 50 shades of “Grey” you thought E.L James was talking about when she named her book… awkward). Either way, it pays to be ready for absolutely anything! And not the nonchalant, semi-conscious kind either, we’re talking Taylor Swift fan-mode twitter-battle ready! (Ain’t nobody gon’ mess with Swifty, because those bitches come R-E-A-D-Y! Side note: to the fans, I’m sorry, I know deep down you’re not bitches. Please don’t cut me. I too am a fan of your leader…)
Brace yourself people. Here’s an all-time best and worst-case scenario of my more recent, everyday kinds of unexpected…
- When you find a R100.00 note folded up in the back pocket of your jeans. Step aside Mark Zuckerberg, okes are rolling!
- When you accidentally mistake your self-tan wipes for your makeup remover ones and your face becomes a glowing party bag of cheesy Doritos. Side note: Wondering if Snooki needs an understudy? (Nachos anyone?)
- When you coincidentally run into a friend that you haven’t seen in ages (okay maybe two weeks or so, but still, that’s ages! *cue teenage girl at a One Direction concert. Positively shrieking).
- When you thought you had finished your pack of gum on a night out and you find you have one last piece. THANK YOU CHEWING GUM GODS.
- When you realize that a lot of negatives can be spun into positives. Too broke to go grocery shopping? #summerbody. And then of course there’s this one…
- When you realise how quickly money seems to disappear every month. That’s some Houdini shit…
- When a “chilled night out” turns into Project X (minus a garden gnome full of E. But hey, if that’s your thing I won’t judge).
- Boiled eggs. This one’s a double-edged sword. Sometimes they’re more perfect than Caitlyn Jenner’s new boobs and other times they’re just a hot mess.
- When you’ve had clear skin all week and a pimple the size of Kanye West’s ego shows up on the eve of an important event. NOT NOW HORMONES! (Side note: In the event of this happening you have three choices. 1. Don’t leave the house. 2. Summon all of the MAC Studiofix available on your side of the Equator and cover that bad boy up or 3. Revive Nelly’s plaster trend).
This post is a tribute to the unexpected. The good, the bad and the downright ridiculous. It’s for anyone who has ever had the wind knocked out of their sails by something completely left-field. Chin up Charlie, the same water that softens the potato, hardens the egg. It’s about what we’re made of, not the circumstances. It’s also for those who have already mastered the ability to field the awkward throws that life aims at them. TEACH ME! I’m jealous. I’m still learning every day…
This one is for Ta who takes everything in her stride with the grace of a lady and for Tash who always reminds me that kindness regardless of any situation will never go out of style.
Yours in Baking, Bitching, learning to catch the good shit and dodge the bullshit that life throws our way (because “xoxo” was too mainstream and because sometimes, you need to learn to expect the unexpected),
Crazy Chocolate Drip Cake
For the Cake:
1 x Cake Batter found here Let it Be Lekker
For the Frosting:
150g of Salted Butter
3-4 cups of Icing Sugar
1/2 cup of Cocoa Powder
3 tablespoons of Cream
1 teaspoon of Almond Extract
For the Turquoise Chocolate Ganache:
1 slab of Milky Bar
1/4 cup of Cream
Turqoise gel food dye (or any other colour)
- Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius.
- Prepare and bake cake as per recipe.
- Leave cake to cool completely.
- Prepare the buttercream frosting by beating the butter in a stand mixer for 6 minutes until light and fluffy.
- Add the sifted cocoa and icing sugar one cup at a time, beating well and scraping down the sides of the bowl each time before adding more.
- When all icing sugar is added, add the cream and beat a little while longer before adding the almond extract and beating.
- Stack and frost cake completely, leaving some aside for piping later.
- Place frosted cake in the fridge and make the ganache.
- Melt white chocolate in a bain-marie and add cream. Remove from heat and allow to cool and thicken before using.
- Mix a blob of food dye in until ganache is your desired shade.
- Remove cake from fridge and with a teaspoon, create small drips down the side of the cake, moving all the way around before filling in the middle with ganache. Be careful not to add too much in the middle, you will flood the cake.
- Leave to set on the counter for 15 minutes before piping large rosettes of butter cream around the sides of the cake. Top each rosette with a Lindt truffle.
Health Hack: Skip the Lindt truffles…