They say that there’s all kinds of love but never the same love twice. Some would argue that we should be grateful for this… I somehow beg to differ. Yes, love is scary, risky and disappointing when things don’t go as you had expected them to… But at the same time, it’s crazy, rare, exciting and well worth the risk (in my opinion). But for entertainment’s sake, that’s not really what this post is about. This week tackles a tribute to Valentine’s Day and to all the loves we never wanted that somehow led us to the loves that we did.
How am I going to do this? Well, being somewhat musical and taking into account my penchant for lyrics and utterly bizarre iTunes library (I’ll be the first to admit it), I decided to compile a playlist (complete with relevant explanations) to describe the very worst, yet most amusing kind of love interests:
- “Someone like you” – Adele: The one trying to replace the person that they lost. They hate you for leaving them with the fire of a thousand suns. Ironically, not enough to prevent them from pursuing someone who is uncannily exactly like you. (Of course, they will deny this).
- “All out of love” – Air Supply: The one who just CANNOT get over it. Where do I even begin? If you wondered who was calling you off of a private number at ungodly hours of the evening and/or early morning sobbing like a small child… Forget the prank call theory you had going on, it’s definitely them).
- “Wherever you will go” – The Calling: The ones who take to obsessive surveillance (i.e. stalking). If it’s a guy, he’s most probably outside in your mother’s hydrangea bushes as you read this, wearing a balaclava spritzed with the perfume he stole out of your purse when he “bumped” into you outside of your local Woolworths. If it’s a girl… unlucky china, she’s taken the words literally and is absolutely everywhere you go.
- “Better off alone” – Alice Deejay: The scorned one who’s become a lone wolf, convincing themselves that they just want to be single and party. They’ve got a mesh vest under all of their clothing and a secret stash of glow sticks for when they’re raving and doing shots… all by themselves.
- “Let’s get it on” – Marvin Gaye: The one who is only in it to get freaky witcha. Easy, tiger. His hair’s slicked back and he’s busy lighting scented candles as we speak… wearing nothing but Old Spice.
- “Drunk in love” – Beyoncé: The one who only wants you when they’ve been “drankin’.” Best believe they will say or do absolutely anything to be with you… For the night. If the slurred pick-up lines and rolling eyes didn’t give it away, they’ve been “drankin” and they want YOU, “Naaaa Naaaa.” (Sorry I just had to. Ha).
- “It’s Tricky” – Run DMC: The one who makes things overly complicated when things really needn’t be. Commitment phobia deluxe. “RUN FOREST, RUN!”
This week’s recipe is for my Whimsical White Chocolate and Raspberry Tart. I chose this for Valentine’s Day because it’s not a typical heart-shaped dessert and because white chocolate is my boyfriend’s absolute favourite. It contains raspberries because let’s face it, strawberries for Valentine’s Day are as predictable and as overdone as Kim Kardashian posing nude. (There, I said it). Also, raspberries are the new strawberries anyhow.
So this one is for Ryan, my Valentine each and every single day. In the words of Big Mountain all I can say is, “Ooooh Baby I love your way.” (If you don’t know that song, YouTube it. It’s groovy). Thank you for putting up with me, and for being the love I always wanted in the end.
To all those who are yet to find their great love, take a page from Ben Howard’s book and, “Keep your head up, keep your heart strong.” They’re out there somewhere and when you least expect it, they’ll find you. Love yourself first, because you can’t give something away that you don’t own yourself. And lastly, never ask for love, because even if you’re “Just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her” (Notting Hill), the truth is, if you have to ask someone to love you, it’s probably not worth wasting the breath required to ask for it in the first place. Use the same amount of breath (and airtime) to call a friend and invite them for a night on the town because if you’re, “Sing-glll-lllll-llleeee” (Natasha Beddingfield), it’s just the right thing to do anyway. (But stay away from the dude with the glow sticks!)
Yours in Baking, Bitching and countless cheesy love songs (because “xoxo” was too mainstream and because no matter what kind of love it is, it really does conquer all. Now can that creep in the hydrangeas please leave!!!)
Whimsical White Chocolate and Raspberry Tart
For the Pastry:
Store bought short crust pastry
2 cups Flour
¾ cup Butter (cut into chunks)
1 egg, beaten
4 tablespoons Ice Water
For the White Chocolate Ganache Filling:
400g White Chocolate
6 tablespoons Butter
2/3 cup Cream
5ml Vanilla Extract
1 punnet of Raspberries (160g)
¼ cup Pistachios (toasted and roughly chopped)
¼ cup Flaked Almonds (toasted)
- Preheat oven to 180 degrees Centigrade.
- To make pastry, pulse flour and butter in a blender until fine crumbs appear. Add beaten egg and enough water to make a dough.
- Place the ball of dough in cling wrap in the fridge for 30 minutes.
- Toast nuts and chop up pistachios.
- Take pastry out of fridge, roll out and place in a removable bottomed tart dish. Chill again for 20 minutes.
- Place a piece of baking paper on top of the tart shell and fill it with baking beans. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until edges start to turn a light golden brown.
- Remove the paper and baking beans and return to bake for ten minutes.
- Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.
- In a bain-marie, melt the chocolate and add the butter. Remove from heat and add the cream. If mixture starts to clump, return the heat and stir until it thins out again. Remove from heat and add vanilla.
- Place raspberries and half of the nut mix on top of the empty tart shell.
- Fill with chocolate ganache and top with remaining nuts.
- Set in fridge for a minimum of four hours and remove from fridge 30 minutes before cutting and eating.
Health hack: It’s Valentine’s Day. Go on, treat yourself!