One word. Four letters. It makes my palms sweat, my heart pound and my stomach churn. And when said in my presence, it has the power to make my mouth dry, my eyes water and my knees tremble. Whilst the Bee Gees may have said, “It’s only words,” I beg to differ. Because when it comes to a word like this one, it’s the word that changes absolutely everything… YOLO.
Where do I even begin? Well, for starters it’s meant to be a synonym for “Carpe Diem” (seize the day), therefore “YOLO” (seize the stupid) is an acronym for “you only live once” (unless of course, you happen to believe in reincarnation. Ha). It came into existence through the rapper Drake. You can bank on that being true. (“Did I invent Hip Hop? No. But I was there.” Ha.)
Flash forward to the present and the word has become one of many skid marks on the proverbial underpants of society, along with the utterly abominable selfie stick and Nikki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video… (Sorry, I’m not sorry). But you know what they say, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
So, in a playful attempt to mock all that is YOLO, here’s a list of times when it may actually be acceptable to say it:
- When you’re considering a change of hairstyle and want to try something new that would involve having your ‘fro chopped to resemble a member of One Direction (in a weirdly androgynous way, of course). It’ll grow back. I mean, YOLO.
- When you decide to skip paying your child support in favour of a new pair of limited edition Nike Air Max. Style is paramount. But also, YOLO.
- Getting a tattoo of your current lover’s name. “Current” being this quarter of the year, because even though it’s only been 6 weeks, you know a love like yours will last forever (obviously). Because when you know, you just know. You know? And then of course, YOLO. (Side note: when it doesn’t last forever and breaks down at the 8 week mark, you will have enough material to write a Taylor Swift song).
- When you find yourself watching “Toddlers and Tiaras” (don’t deny it, we’ve all been there) because there’s nothing else on and because, well, YOLO. (Yet another side note: Dear DSTV, for goodness sake get some new shows already. I’ve seen every episode of “Come Dine with Me” a gazillion times, no exaggeration. It’s gotten to the point where I am experiencing anxiety. This is because when each episode starts and they’re intro-ing the contestants, I’m already resenting the person who won! (Spoiler alert! It’s that prick with the scallops. It’s always the one with the scallops!) But also, in the spirit of YOLO, if I do only live once, life is far too short to be watching sub-standard T.V!)
- And finally, it’s perfectly acceptable to say it when making these delicious, utterly more-ish YOLO Rolo cupcakes! (Because Rolo’s are the heat and also, YOLO!
I made these for my monthly (not-so) book club with the girls. You know you’ve struck baked goods gold when Kaylee Aitken temporarily blacks out following eating one of these. These are the chocolatey king of all cupcakes. They’re kind of like an episode of “Real Housewives of Atlanta” (there’s a lot going on, but thankfully, there won’t be a fist fight and ain’t nobody gon’ take yo weave). Picture this, chocolate cupcakes filled with a salted caramel, topped with rich chocolate frosting, a smattering of salted caramel drizzle (for good measure) and a few mini Rolo’s. Yoh.
So this one’s for Kays, Gee, Kourt and Caels. In the words of Kanye, “Last night was mad real.” (And by “last night” I mean Tuesday evening. You see, I started writing this post on Wednesday and was only able to complete it this morning. Being a grown up sucks). It’s also for Caels’ Mad Italian, Angelo, who probably loves my baked goods more than he loves Caels (it’s okay Ang, you don’t have to hide it anymore…) And lastly, it’s for errrbody who may have previously abused the word “YOLO.” Please reconsider this and change your YOLO-ing ways, because unless it’s said ironically, quite frankly, you just look like a tit. (And Drake is judging you hard right now).
Yours in Baking, Bitching and four letter words, (because “xoxo” was too mainstream and because, well… YOLO).
YOLO Rolo Cupcakes
For the Cupcakes:
1 X amaChocolate Cake batter (find the recipe here https://bakingandb.wordpress.com/2014/09/23/let-it-be-lekker/)
18 Cupcake papers
For the Salted Caramel Filling and Drizzle:
1 tin of Condensed milk or, if you’re lazy, Caramel Treat
A good sprinkle of Sea salt
For the Chocolate Frosting:
50g of Butter
4 tablespoons of Cocoa powder
500g of Icing sugar
Enough milk to make it buttercream (piping) consistency
- In a pot of boiling water, boil the can of condensed milk (tin closed) with the lid on for 2 hours. Check to see there is still enough water every so often. If not, the tin will explode (not ideal).
- Remove from the pot when time is up and allow it to cool down. (If using Caramel Treat, ignore step one and two).
- Preheat oven to 180 degrees Centigrade.
- Prepare cake as per the recipe in “Let it Be Lekker.” Spoon into cupcake cases and bake for 15 minutes. Test with a skewer and when it comes out clean, they are ready.
- Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool.
- With a cupcake corer or a knife, cut out a small mid-section of the cupcakes and reserve for later. (Side note: Cupcake corers are the business! Head on over to Yuppie Chef to add one to your kitchen arsenal!) http://www.yuppiechef.com/
- Open the tin of Caramel and add the salt. Give it a good mix.
- Spoon into the cupcake hollow (about one teaspoon) and put the cupcake “hat” back on top. Repeat with all of the cupcakes. Make sure you leave enough Caramel behind to decorate at the end.
- Combine the frosting ingredients with an electric mixer and pipe onto the cupcakes.
- Decorate with mini Rolo’s (or big ones) and a drizzle of Caramel.
Health hack: Why you gon’ do Drake like that? Have you completely missed out on the point of this whole entire post? Go’on with ya bad self!